Thursday, 19 September 2013


I often find a good rant helps.  On receiving yet another letter from 'Odey Wealth' asking me to join their wealth management service which is 'open to clients who have investible assets of £500,000 or more', I thought I would do the decent thing and write back.

Hello Crispin

You recently sent me a letter, even though I have no idea how you got my name and address.  

I have about £6000 to invest and I'm trying to save towards a mortgage.  When you've finished helping rich people get even richer, why not spare a thought for those less well off and give me a call with some suggestions of how to turn the £6K into £25K quicksmart?  I might be able to get a two bedroom flat in the outer limits of a city that is rapidly becoming segregated then.  

Alas, soon only the likes of you and your peers will be able to afford to live here.  As I'm sure you won't want to lose the cultural diversity that is attracting wealthy clients of yours to the city of London, be sure to give me a ring.  If you don't, it'll only turn into a city of bored rich people trying to outdo each other with increasingly ludicrous reconstructions of their already massively over priced homes.  Either that or they'll be scratching their bonces trying to figure new ways of pimping their Evoques.

Failing that, please take me off your mailing list.

Toodle pip.

Lee Mannion

No comments:

Post a Comment